Kids Invitation Wording :: Sample 10

No Lion —
It’s NAME’S – YEARS Birthday!
Come on over and
monkey around with us

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Because I said so…

There are certain things you will only hear in a home with children, for example…

Don’t ride the dog.

Don’t use your shirt to wipe your nose.

Get down from there.

You call this clean?

Stop touching yourself.

Would you PLEASE get your finger out of your nose.

The answer is still no.

I don’t care what everybody else’s parents are letting them do.

Don’t hit your sister.

Did you wipe? Yes, but did you wipe good?

As long as you live in this house, you will live by my rules.

Beats me, ask your mother.

How should I know, ask your father?

I was a kid once, too, ya know.

I don’t know HOW LONG it’s been, but that’s not important.

… and do it THIS INSTANT!

As long as I live there will never be another slumber party in this house.

You promised I’d do WHAT?

Stop that and eat.

Get that out of your mouth!

Chew with your mouth closed!

Don’t talk with your mouth full.

Get off the couch with that cupcake.

Close that refrigerator door RIGHT NOW.

You pierced what?

Turn off the light when you leave the room.

Don’t `But Mom!’ me.

Yeah, sure it was an accident.

I will NOT be ignored.

Don’t make me come over there.

If I have to get up out of this chair …

I’m sorry, but this is not a democracy.

If you can’t play nice, then you can’t play at all.

STOP YELLING

Knock first, PLEASE.

Are you bleeding? Is there a bone protruding? No? Then you’re fine!

Don’t.

Don’t!

DON’T!!!

Stop it right now.

And how long have you known about this?

I don’t care what so-and-so is doing.

I brought you into this world, and I CAN TAKE YOU OUT!

You wanna cry…I’ll give you something to cry about!

If you don’t behave … I’LL GROUND YOU FOREVER!!

A letter to my Children

My Darling Children,

It seems that speaking to you has no effect whatsoever as I am getting the same response as when I speak to the wall. Therefore I am appealing to you in writing.

DIRTY UNDERWEAR: Do not belong in the bathroom, on kitchen floor, or behind the couch. Please place soiled undergarments IN the tall white plastic container in my bathroom, otherwise known as the hamper.

RESTAURANTS: Please do not wait until the waiter has placed my meal in front of me to declare “I need to go pee!” Especially when I asked you not five minutes before to accompany your sister and I to the restroom. One of these days I will say no and let you pee your pants.

WHINING: Will not make me change my mind. If I’ve said no, there is a reason. Stop asking. PERIOD. Repeatedly asking will result in the loss of privileges, as will crying and tantrums

DOORS: If a door is shut, please don’t come in. It may be hard for you to believe, but I do not enjoy watching a dance performance while I am on the toilet. Similarly, repeatedly opening the shower door while I am in there angers me immensely.

TOWELS: are not meant to be dripping wet. Nor are they supposed to be left crumpled up on the bathroom floor. In future please fold towels up neatly and place on the towel rail, conveniently located right beside the bathtub.

SNACKS : I realize that you are growing and need adequate nutrition, but I would rather not spend all day in the kitchen preparing a never ending selection of snacks. For your future reference:  If I am still cleaning up from you last snack, it is not snack time. If I am preparing dinner, it is not snack time. If you just finished eating a meal, it is not snack time. Please stop asking!

BEDROOMS:  need cleaning! Occasionally I would like to see the floor so that I may be reminded what colour the carpet is. And stuffing all your toys/dirty clothes/homework etc under the bed does not constitute cleaning. Just so you know.

These are the house rules according to me.

Love Always

Mummy

9/11 :: My Story

September 11, 2001 started out as a perfectly normal day. We had returned from Florida late the night before and I was up early for my pre-natal doctors appointment.  It was in the car that I first heard that a plane had crashed into the Pentagon. I remember feeling shock as I listened to them discuss the possibility of a terrorist attack.

Once at the doctors office, I learned that airplanes had crashed into the twin towers. I remember feeling numb, thinking of the thousands of people trapped in the upper floors of those buildings.

I returned home to a message from a concerned coworker, checking to see if we had made it home safely. For the rest of the day I sat, dumbstruck in front of the television. I was unable to comprehend how. How could someone do this? How could there be so much hate in the world? How could they think that killing thousands of innocent civilians would make things better? How could I consider bringing a child into this world? How would I explain the events unfolding in front of me? How…

These questions remain unanswered as my daughter is still too young to understand the significance of that day. When she is old enough, I will make sure she understands what hate can do. That hate and ignorance breed violence. What people can be lead to believe and why it is important to have a mind and use it. Why it is okay to question everything and never follow blindly. The individuals who flew the planes that day must have believed they were doing the right thing, because that is what they were taught. That is what they were taught by extremists who hated so fiercely and so completely that they were able to dehumanize an entire population based on their nationality. That to me is beyond comprehension.

My thoughts and prayers are with the families who lost loved ones 9 years ago today. They are also with the many brave men and women who worked tirelessly to help the victims.

God Bless

This post was written as part of the 9/11 Blog hop posted by Diana. Please feel free to join the blog hop and share your 9/11 story. If you do not have a blog, you may leave your story here or on Diana’s page as a comment

10 Misconceptions of Moms and Back-to-School

I got this as an email from a friend. I have no idea who wrote it, but if you do I’d love to know. I normall hate forwards, but this one made me laugh! I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
Misconception Number 1:
Moms miss their kids when they go back to school.
Seriously, I’ve had enough of you by now. Every morning with the “what are we going to do today, Mom?” is finally over. I’ve had looked at your face twenty-four seven for the last 77 days. It’s time to go learn something. No more asking me about the pool, when is the next snack or if you can stay up late and watch a movie. It’s over….You’re going back to Hogwarts and I get to have a life again. There is a Christmas morning for parents and it’s called “back to school”.

Misconception Number 2:
Moms like to go school shopping.
Are you freaking kidding me? Why do I pay taxes?…so I can rack up a 200 dollar bill at Staples for crap that we have laying around my house in junk drawers. Why does it have to be new pencils? What’s wrong with the chewed up, broken strawberry shortcake pencils sitting in the bottom of the toy box for the last 6 months? And how many subject books can you possibly need? What happened to reading, writing and arithmetic. If they added a couple of things for parents to that list I wouldn’t mind so much….why not pencils, erasers and vodka …..or some Nyquil.

Misconception Number 3:
Moms like back to school night.
Why must we do this every year? I got it already. You’re the teacher…I’m the parent. My kid is either going to be smart or dumb. If he gets a certain number or colored dot on his discipline chart, he can’t get a prize from the prize box. Pretty simple stuff. Listen, I’m pretty old school. If he doesn’t listen to you…you can throw something at him. I don’t care. But I got a lot of work to do at home and I’m paying a babysitter right now. Plus, I’m pretty sure you are going to assign some project on wigwams made by some Indian tribe I’ve never heard of, so I need to get home and start my research. So, I got it. We’re all here for the betterment of the kids. Blah Blah Blah. Can I leave now?

Misconception Number 4:
Moms like school paperwork.
How many trees are you planning on killing to tell me the same stuff I had to pay a babysitter to listen to the other night? You know our name, where we live and our emergency phone numbers. He doesn’t have a nickname….call him “stinkbutt” for all I care. We don’t have any “special circumstances” that you need to know about. He lives in a home with two parents who may or may not like each other at any given time and they will fight. If that qualifies as a reason he can’t get his homework done on time then he won’t be able to function as an adult and have a real job so you may want to “educate” him on that life lesson.

Misconception Number 5:
Moms like covering books in that annoying sticky paper.
What exactly will you be doing with these books that I have to cover them in a plastic laminate? Do you often teach in the rain? Or while the children are drinking soda and eating soup? Do you know how long that takes? Has any parent in the history of education been able to do it without any air bubbles in it? From now on I’m covering it the old way…brown paper bags. That way I can cover the books and pack their lunches at that same time. Who says moms can’t multitask?

PS. Please tell my son if he can’t find his lunch to look in his science book.

Misconception Number 6:
Moms like helping you with your homework.
What? I am scared out of my mind. I’m pretty sure that I forgot everything I learned in fifth grade by the time I was in sixth grade. I have no idea what you are talking about most days. I don’t really know my 12 times tables, I read the cliff notes to all your summer reading and I don’t know how to conjugate anything but I do know that song “conjunction junction what’s your function” if that helps at all. And please don’t even say the words “new math” to me. What the heck was wrong with the old one?

Misconception Number 7:
Moms can’t wait to pack your lunch every day until we die.
I hate doing laundry. Making dinner every night is the bane of my existence, so making your lunch every day for an entire year, in terms of “mom fun”, lies somewhere between brushing plaque off the dogs teeth and scheduling my annual pap smear. Listen, as a child I hated what my mom packed me for lunch. But, like every kid before me, and every generation to come you will find a kid to trade with…I’m sure someone likes sardines.

Misconception Number 8:
Moms love after school activities.
I don’t know who made up this idea of organized clubs and sports but they should be the ones in charge of carting your ass around. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not against all after school programs. I just wish they would offer it during hours that would work best for me so that dinner wasn’t at 8:30 at night followed by 4 hours of homework. Why not do it on the weekends and call it “after-hours activities” so mommy and daddy could actually go out one night and pretend that we have a life of our own. Don’t worry about us though I’m sure that me and “what’s his name” will be married a very long time.

Misconception Number 9:
Moms don’t mind taking you to school if you miss the bus.
Your bus comes at 7:10 am….which means that you should be standing by the door at 7:05 am. Not eating breakfast , chasing the dog around the house or in the bathroom, asking me to check your homework while I’m taking a shower. Get it together! I don’t like running down the street in my jammies at 7:12 screaming “Please wait” or “If you stop I’ll show you my boobies.”

Misconception Number 10:
Moms cry on your first day of school.
We do cry but they are tears of joy. I have done my job. I have successfully kept a human child alive for at least 5 years without doing any major damage. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world!! Sure, doctors save lives and CEO’s run million dollar businesses but…you teach a kid not to poop their pants and then you can say you’ve made the world a better place.

Wordless Wednesday

Labour Day

The summer has come to an end. It seems like only yesterday DD cam flying out of the school excited about the prospect of a fun filled summer.   Now she’s in bed, eagerly awaiting her first day of grade four.

Our summer was jam packed with camping, swimming and playing with friends. I think my favourite memory for summer 2010 would have to be sitting around the campfire with my children. Seeing the excitement in their eyes because it would soon be time for smores. They are growing up so quickly and before we know it DD won’t have any interest in going away with us. I try not to think of it too much, for now I am treasuring every moment that I can.

How about you all? What is your favourite family memory from summer 2010?

Photo Funeral Memorial Cards

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Pink Skull Photo Invitations

A funky photo birthday invitation featuring bold black and pink stripes. This design is my most popular pink skull invitation.
I also have matching labels and cake topper graphics available

If you are interested in this design, ordering is simple. Just click on the add to cart button on the right sidebar and pay through PayPal. Then I’ll send you my email address so you can email me your photo(s), party information, and design of choice and I’ll get right to work on creating your perfect invitation.

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